Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: From Failure to Success
A self-fulfilling prophecy is when your belief determines your actions, which then confirms your original belief. Your perception becomes your reality. This can be other-imposed where your expectations of someone else determines their outcome and self-imposed where your expectations of yourself determine your outcome. We will be focusing on the latter.
A self-fulfilling prophecy usually implies a negative outcome but it can also be as effective as a positive reinforcer. In fact, it’s really just a form of manifestation. We determine and choose our reality, so why not choose the one that will lead to a more enjoyable life?
Here are two examples with one leading to failure and one leading to success:
Jane was raised to believe that women are not as smart as men; therefore, she believes she is unintelligent. She tells herself all the time that she is stupid and her opinions are not valuable. If she does something to the contrary, for example getting an A, she tells herself that it was a fluke and focuses instead on all the times she seemed stupid. Subsequently, she doesn’t put herself out there to continue learning, she doesn’t speak up about her thoughts, and she tells people that she isn’t smart. She doesn’t go after her dreams because she knows she will fail.
Kate was raised to believe that women are not as smart as men; however, she disagrees and believes that she is intelligent. Even though it might not feel natural, she tells herself that she is smart and will do great things. If she makes a mistake, she learns from it and moves on without getting discouraged. She seeks out opportunities to expand her knowledge, speaks up in conversations, and challenges herself to achieve her dreams. She is ambitious and determined because she knows she will succeed.
Both were put at a disadvantage from a limiting belief they were taught, however, Kate was able to come out stronger whereas Jane confirmed the limiting belief. What they told themselves determined their actions, which determined their reality.
Of course, this is easier said than done. It is natural for us to be incredibly hard on ourselves and to focus on our flaws. It takes hard conscious work to overcome these patterns but it is by no means impossible.
Here are 3 ways to shift a self-fulfilling prophecy from failure to success
Watch your self-talk: Take a moment and think about how you talk to yourself. Do you use words like should, have to, never, always? Are you mean? Do you have unreasonably high expectations and then get mad when you can’t meet them? Would you ever say these things to anyone else? Our words and thoughts have power, so become aware of these patterns and consciously shift those words to be more forgiving, empowering, and kind.
Use visualization: Where do you want to be in 6 months? A year? 5 years? Get super clear about what you’re working towards and consistently visualize your dream future. Go beyond what you believe is possible.
Prove yourself wrong: This one takes some courage but it’s very effective. For example, if you’re telling yourself that you’re socially awkward, put yourself in a social situation and make an effort to talk to everyone there. Be open-minded and non-judgmental and take the risk! Then, next time you tell yourself that same old belief, you can remind yourself that that is no longer true.
Lots of love,
Andrea
